Have you ever wanted to be able to run away and not have to speak to or deal with another living person? That is how I started off this month, wishing that I could just move into a cave and hide from the world. It seemed that there was so many things going on and happening around me.
I always tend to get a little cranky before my choir performs, and for some reason, this past performance really stressed me out! I think perhaps it might have been because this was the second stake conference in a row. This meant that I had a reputation to uphold. The last conference was difficult because I had to draw from the incredible talent that our Stake has, and be able to show them my talent and confidence. This conference was more of a challenge, it was just my ward choir which until December had only had 12 people consistently. (Let me insert here that the Westlake Ward is AMAZING!) I asked for a big choir, and that is what they gave me. We had 40 people singing! 40! They allowed me to be mean in rehearsals, be grumpy when they didn't understand what I was going for...they indulged me in my need to arrange a medley of hymns and watched as it came together in front of them. The finished product was exactly what I had been hearing for weeks, and it was fun to share the creative process with them.
I think what scared me most was the stake now had expectations. They had seen me direct a large choir, perform in an amazing play, and seemingly take over a whole bunch of different music things. So that is a lot to live up to. And live up to it we did! I am so thankful to all those who supported me throughout this crazy experience.
During all of this, I started working with an amazing group of people. Every year, West Linn-Wilsonville School district puts on a musical with their middle schools. This year they are putting on Beauty and the Beast. Through serendipitous circumstances, I have been asked to help out. This has truly been an eye opening experience. Working with 130+ 7th and 8th graders has been a challenge. What do I know about this age group? Nothing, other than I hated being that age. Fortunately for me, the musical director is an amazing woman with mounds of talent who is willing to show me what it takes. And the artistic director has shown incredible faith in me by including me in this process. The kids are fantastic. Yes, challenging at times, but mainly they just want to be good!
I have an truly wonderful family, and I am so grateful that I have them in my life. Yes, there are some family relations that are... shall we say challenging? But what family doesn't have drama?
So while I have been sorely tempted to hide away and have no further contact with the human race, I have realized that there is alot going right! I am so thankful to wonderful friends (you know who you are) who have helped me deal with my bipolarness this last month. So for now, the cave remains vacant.